And I sometimes wonder...

As a child the process of learning how to communicate clearly with the adults in one's life is one of the most difficult and long drawn out processes that we go through during our travels (or travails, depending *grin*). One that many of us never fully manage to facilitate properly and I am learning more and more as the fullness of time moves by that I am also caught in the same trap.

Let me clarify better.

During youth, we go through a process of learning language skills that match those of the adults around us.

And occasionally I get stuck sometimes, wondering if I've learned how to use a word correctly. Especially at times when I am trying to communicate... whatever to someone and it is clearly not being understood. A lot of times I will go introspective and examine what the word means to me and how I remember it being used in literature or conversations past.

There are even moments where I get stuck on the most common of words and for a brief stint it just feels like I'm using it incorrectly.

Which is why sometimes lately I'm beginning to think that many of the times that you have gotten upset with me are because of errors in translation so to speak.

There are many things that you have tried to teach me or tell me, and even though a good number of those things have had great value to me once I finally accepted them I have always hesitated, whether in stubborness or the desire to examine more closely the core of what you presented.

I have developed a filtering mechanism that I use to deal with life and people and I feel that I need to tell you how it developed, or at least how I currently perceive that it developed so that I may in turn learn how I can move beyond it so that it no longer controls me.

However, I need to be away for the nonce and such deep and weighty topics must weight for when I can give greater focus to the import.